The Care & Feeding of the Wild Yoni

Updated: Mar 28, 2018


The wild yoni is a magical creature capable of great feats of power. All you need do is get her in the mood. Stand up straight and act right. Show some respect, a little tenderness. Bow down and worship her. Shower her with love and adoration. Lay a magic carpet of diamonds and rose petals before her lotus feet, which must never touch the ground. Anoint her. Be kind. Be gentle. Be firm. And for Gods sake, never whine or beg. Shut the door. Turn off the phone. Approach with caution, objects may be larger than they first appear. As Bono famously sung, “If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel. Down on your knees, boy.”


The care and feeding of the wild yoni is quite a ride. When you get it just right, rainbow streams of liquid light shower down upon you. Oceanic and vast, undulating waves roll you into infinity. Just when you think you’ll finally find land, roll up on a beach somewhere and catch your breath, another tidal wave sweeps up and carries you further into the unknown reaches of vast inner seas.


Behold the Greater Yoni Starfield, mystery upon mystery, bower of delight, portal to worlds unending, door to physical life. All must enter and exit through here. Beware, whether coming or going, all bets are off. You may find yourself spiraling for ten thousand years, sliding down DNA daisy chains to the golden honeypot, overflowing with nectar of the Gods, the holy chalice and the grail, too. Or the whirlpools, left and right, might get you, whirling vortexes of pure creative energy, universe-seeding crystals known to concentrate unimaginable gestalts of love and light.


There up ahead, another veil, another portal, another dimension beckons. Drive us to it, drive us through it. The wild yoni will open wide. Pink and glistening, honey and nectar, liquid light. Steady on, don’t lose focus now or all is lost and there’s not a search party alive who could find you again. Steady on, unbending, upright, courageous and sure, heat-seeking missile on a mission of mystery through the bower of delight. Steady on, bring us to the threshold and she will open the doors. Steady on and you’ll get the ride of your life.


Bliss fields to the left us, bliss fields on the right, bliss fields up ahead of us, on and on and on and on. Start light, star bright, luminous darkness, invisible shining, spiral galaxies, cloud burst nebula, birthing universes in a cosmic dance begun anew in each and every moment. You too can win a ticket to ride. Catch a rainbow shower, fill your head with stars. You’ve got her singing now, wild yoni yowls and arias, rising octaves, ringing the bells, music of the spheres. Whatever you do, don’t let go. You’ll never find your way back. Hang in there, keep driving on. Trust the wild yoni to navigate the far reaches of inner space. Only she can get you home, maybe in one piece, there’s no telling if your molecules will reassemble back to the way they were. Did you really imagine nothing would change?


© Mikhaila Stettler for Creatrix Arts 11/14

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